Tag Archives: Parenting

Rail Travel at the Turn of the Century

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October 2007

This has been a busy week at our house.  Sarah had to have the root of a tooth removed Monday.  Somebody, ahem, put her on the bed when she was 10 months old and of course she fell off and knocked a tooth out.  She only had it for 3 weeks.  Anyway, the Dentist said 2 1/2 years later that the root had to go.  Then the doggone tooth fairy didn’t remember to visit the first night the root was put out.  Whoops. 

Wednesday the husband had nose surgery, hopefully to cure his snoring problem as well as let him shut his mouth without actually dying of asphyxiation.  We shall see.  He has been hanging around the house a lot, it is kinda weird having him around so much, but then he can’t help because he feels so lousy. 

Then of course, I made it to the chiropractor twice.  My lower back hurts and it is all I can do to waddle around chasing Tommy.  Fortunately he prefers to climb, so I don’t have to bend over much.  I have to leave the kiddos in the waiting room while I go back.  So far they have not caused any problems.  Today a lady was waiting on her husband and she read a book to my kids.  Nothing like a small town I say.  I have been having all kinds of shooting pains up and down the back of my thighs.  I am counting the days until this kid gets out of me.  Thirty eight give or take a couple.

Rail travel at the turn of the century

I have taken two train trips in the last year, both starting from central Nebraska and ending in Denver. Amtrak has a ways to go before they make any headway in transportation in the US, and that is too bad.

Good things

1. You don’t have to drive or stay awake

2. The clientele is less spooky than bus travelers, in my limited experience

3. It probably isn’t more expensive for one person than driving with gas at $3.00/gal

4. Lots of leg room

5. Lounge and Dining car to relax in and meet people

6. There is kind of a romance about rail travel

7. You get to see the Denver Stock Yards (and other stuff you might not happen across)

8. The employees are exceptionally nice

9. Old train stations are cool

10. Less pollution than all those people driving, and probably flying as well

11. No waiting in line for security checks

12. You keep your luggage on the same car as you, so it won’t end up lost

Bad things

1. They are so doggone late

2. Only one train goes through a day, so the time may be horrid ie. 2:05 am departure

3. The bathrooms (although they are no worse that those on planes)

4. It is not easy to sleep next to someone you don’t know

I wish people would take advantage of this kind of travel so

1. More trains would run

2. The rail companies which own the tracks would prioritize getting Amtrak though

3. Amtrak could update some of its equipment (I think some of their engines are old)

4. More routes could be added

Toys

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September 2007

I loved playing with wooden blocks when I was a kid. We keep ours out in the living room so the kids can play with them often (and I can play with them when I put them away, often). We have a set of maybe 100 with a few odds and ends from my childhood and probably my father’s as well added to it. I think of all the blocks I remember having as a kid, now we are down to about 15. Surely we didn’t start out with 100! I described them to my husband, the tall rectangle green ones were dads and the round yellow ones were mothers. The short ones were children. He said, “you mean the ones with the hay bales,” and sure enough, the “boys” were green and hay bale shaped. That is why blocks are a great toy for the imagination, a different toy for each kid.

Speaking of toys that involve hundreds of parts, Sarah asked Santa for a Percy train last year, Percy is a companion of the famous Thomas the Tank Engine. Of course, a train must have a track, so we now have a wooden track too. This I keep in the living room so I can play with it on lonely evenings. I have to wait until the kids are in bed, because Tommy will come up and swipe his hands across your project and laugh his evil baby laugh as he knocks everything down. It takes a different mind set to build things which are sure to be knocked down before completion. An architect under these circumstances doesn’t spend time on elaborate details, but builds a utilitarian structure.

The best gift I remember getting as a child was a shoebox full of Barbie clothes made by my Aunt Gloria. I played with them, my step daughter Kari played with them, and now the Ladies play with them. I can’t be sure, but I think we still have nearly all of them. I keep the Barbies put up most of the time because I think my daughters are too young to play with dolls that look like that. Technically I think they will never be old enough to play with dolls that look like that. I prefer that they play with baby dolls. We do have some Barbies that stay out most of the time, like Ariel, Sarah’s hero. But every chance I get, I put the Barbies away until someone makes a request a few weeks later and I get a few out again for a couple of days.

We went to a wedding last summer, where my niece, Denise married Abdul. This was the first wedding my children remembered attending, and it made a huge impression on the Ladies. They found an older dark haired Barbie to be Denise (although Denise is actually blonde) and dressed her up in the wedding dress my aunt made. Poor Abdul (Ken) only had a velvet cape and a black cowboy hat to wear. It was a pretty drafty ensemble. I found a lady in on Ebay who makes beautiful Barbie and Ken formal clothes, so we invested in a tux. Unfortunately, Denise got an illness common in older Barbies, her neck broke, causing her head to fall off, so I had to find another brown haired Barbie. The New Denise is a Malibu Barbie complete with tattoo and bare feet.

Those Bratz dolls look skanky. I really don’t want any of those in my house. At least Barbie looks glamorous in a runway model sort of way, not just plain old slutty. I suppose if we get one as a gift, I will do my best to distract the Ladies until I could put it in our garage sale stash. Santa brought Lydia a soft doll with the name brand Groovy Girls, that looked kinda like a teenager, but a nice one, the kind you could be friends with. She even came with a change of clothes. We need to look into more of those.

My Hero: Gro Rollag

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August 2007

I found the epitaph I want on my gravestone. It is from a book by David Laskin, called The Children’s Blizzard. He was describing a woman, Gro Rollag, who immigrated to America from Norway in 1873, “According to family lore, she was not the most conscientious housekeeper because ‘she preferred reading to housework.’” Wow, that was like looking into a mirror. It is even better than the Erasmus quote, “When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.”

Here is an exact Me-quote from this week, “Go look on the couch for some panties, just move the clothes around, and if some fall on the floor, that’s ok.” I think part of the reason my house is usually trashed, is because I am interested in doing things.

Visiting a friend recently, I noticed her house was really picked up considering she has two pre-schoolers and a full time job. However, her only hobby is drinking beer on the deck. There is nothing wrong with that, but it really doesn’t make much of a mess, even if you do it every day for two hours. Try scrap booking for two hours a day on the dining room table, then picking up after yourself, or piecing a quilt, or sitting at the computer, writing. My opinion is that people with clean houses aren’t often very interesting.

I like to cook, and most of our meals are from scratch, even mac and cheese. The Schwan’s man actually dropped us because we weren’t buying enough from him. I like to read, I am currently in the middle of three books, and any number of magazines, I like to write, I am currently in the middle of six essays, and am doing reconnaissance for an attempt on a serious article about an ancestor of mine. I belong to two book groups. I scrap book, but not at home usually.

I fall into that category of people who have a hard time getting things done, because of perfectionism. Yes, my books are organized by the Dewey decimal system. Seriously, and the fiction is alphabetical by author. I think when the time comes to get a part time job, I will apply at the local library, and put the above information on my resume. I still just toss my children’s books at the shelf. So far.

I am a sucker for containers. I think to myself that if I get enough containers and systems going, I could conquer the world, or at least clean off the peninsula in my kitchen. I have to admit, my dirty laundry system is working pretty well, my four-year-old actually will sort her clothes into the different tubs I have set out, without me asking. She doesn’t always do it the way I do, but I can usually see her logic. My clean laundry system still needs some tweaking, maybe I just need one of those sectional couches.

My only other defense is that the TV stays off most all day in my house. We watch PBS over breakfast and lunch, and otherwise the TV collects dust. This goes a long way in explaining why my house is always trashed; my kids are actually doing things all day.

This is what I did during naptime today.

My Kid Eats Sand

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August 2007

Some people would say my mothering is too lax . Probably they would be right. I was at a play date today and another mom told me that Leo was eating sand from the playground. Tommy is not walking yet, but he is nearly one, and is impossible to hold when he has the opportunity to get down and explore. I tossed a glance over my shoulder and said that sand was probably not as healthy as cat food, but the yuck factor was lower. She laughed and I left it at that. My toddler soon ate his fill and moved on. Leo has recently developed a taste for Purina Cat Chow and has learned to let himself out the screen door while my back is turned, to get his own snacks. This is why the cat food is now on the picnic table, another yuck.

My laxness may have something to do with the fact that Tommy is kid number three, and therefore by definition bullet proof. You know the first one is fragile like china, the second is more like Melmac, and the third, well he has to protect himself at a young age so I would call him Kevlar. I don’t yet know the properties of the fourth child, but I am hoping for Teflon. If I am in luck number four will be just as easy to clean.

I read Parent’s magazine, which mostly I like, but a recent issue stressed that the parent should be in the same room in which the children are playing at all times. Presumably this will keep them safe, from each other as well as environmental hazards. I have three kids and five rooms in which they may play. Short of cloning myself, (why on earth would I want more than one of me?) I can see that my kids will have to find ways to be safe on their own. I can child-proof my house, but they will learn to be better citizens if I am not supervising their every move. I wish those editors would get a dose of reality. How do these people cook anything? They are probably the same people who made it nearly impossible to buy soft soap that isn’t anti-bacterial.

How much supervision can anyone provide while trying to do other things as well? Part of the job of being a stay at home mom (or even a working parent) is keeping the laundry washed (and folded if possible) and enough clean dishes around to be able to serve at least one meal. I can’t be there when they get older and go to school, and they need to have a working set of social skills long before that.

I belong to MOPS, Mothers of Preschoolers, and I like their magazine because it doesn’t have articles on being the perfect mother. It has articles that say “well, I did a better job parenting today than I did yesterday, but who knows about tomorrow?” The last issue had an article about dealing with a poopy potty trainer in public. I can relate to real life.

Reading to Children

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July 2007

Before I was even married, I read to my step-kids. It was a stupid Sesame Street book. When I got done and had put them to bed, their father said to me, “I know why you like to read so much, you read really well.” He is probably right. My mother was a librarian, and my father should have been. I got read to a lot, and I got to see adults reading for fun. Both my brother and I still read quite a bit.

They say you should read to your kids 30 minutes a day. I don’t do that, but I do read to them a lot, and I have learned a couple of things about books. As a parent, you have to make a quick decision. If you think you will not like reading a particular book to your kids, get rid of it as soon as possible, before they have a chance to get attached. This way reading to them is still enjoyable to you. If you aren’t enjoying it, they will catch on.

I don’t have a vendetta against Sesame Street, but their writers just aren’t the same caliber as other contemporary writers. Some of their books are better than others. I really like There is a Monster at the End of this Book. However, none of their books holds a candle to Sandra Boynton or Dr. Seuss. I literally have read Mr. Brown Can Moo over 500 times, to just two kids, and I’m not finished, I still have two to go! Luckily for me, I am not tired of it yet, although the book is looking pretty tired these days. I’m not even bored with Goodnight Moon, but I do have both memorized. I also can recite large portions of Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by heart, and if you are under 10, I’ll even sing it.

When I read, I don’t always read exactly what is on the page, so my kids can’t call me on making the story shorter that it is supposed to be, although I don’t try to do that. Some authors write well enough that their words flow off the tongue with ease, and others’ phrasing just isn’t right. I guess that is the writer in me coming out. I also make my kids participate. When we read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day you can guess what I had my kids do. That is a lot of words to memorize, but my three-year-old Sarah did pretty well. Some of the best books don’t even have words, like the Carl the Dog books.

When Lydia was really little, we belonged to the Cat in the Hat book club. After several months, I cancelled my subscription, for two reasons. Some of the books were lousy, and as I told the lady with whom I canceled, we have more than 100 children’s books at our house as it is, and I probably should not be acquiring more on a regular basis. As my Mother-in-Law helped me pick up one day, she suggested putting away most of the books and only keeping a few out at a time. I was appalled! I would rather take away all of their toys than all of their books!

I am anxious for my daughters to become old enough to enjoy Laura Ingalls Wilder, and the Betsy Tacy books. Unfortunately, I yawn when I read out loud. A lot. I can only imagine how many yawns for each chapter, probably upwards of 50. Even Skippyjon Jones ranks about six. For some reason I do it when I am singing too, but not when I am talking. I try to project, so I can inhale more oxygen, but haven’t had good results, fortunately my kids are patient.

Sesame Street

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July 2007

I don’t let my kids watch Sesame Street. Why? Good question. We don’t watch much TV at our house, we get the Prairie Package: Fox, CBS, NBC, ABC and PBS. Since I don’t watch soap operas, women gossiping, or people suing or exploiting each other for entertainment, the TV sits off until Jeopardy comes on at 4:30, (although I have been known to sneak in a little Rachel Ray). I do let the kids watch TV for a while during the day, a half hour here and there, usually when we are eating lunch, or when I need a diversionary ploy. The TV is not on for noise at our house.

Back to Sesame Street. It was great when I was a kid, in fact my brother learned to read by watching Sesame Street before he went to Kindergarten. The program has changed though, and not for the better. The first half isn’t so bad, but the second half, the half aimed at younger children, specifically Elmo’s World, is lousy. Although we don’t know what causes autism, it is widely assumed that children should not watch things that “flash”. The whole premise behind Elmo’s scenery is flashing and throbbing. Several other segments like “one of these things doesn’t belong here” flash as well.

The other thing that offends me about Elmo’s World is that when Elmo wants to learn about something, for example music, he asks Mr. Noodle, who is silly but harmless, then he watches “the music channel” on a TV then he asks a baby. I don’t see anything specifically wrong with these things, but as an adult, I would not be able to learn anything useful from these sources, even a grade school child would not learn anything from these sources. Apparently the Sesame Street neighborhood lacks the basic fundamental of learning, a library. As annoying as he can be, at least Barney has a library card.

(2023 side note: One day Lydia Mae came to me in the kitchen and very solemnly said, “In Germany sometimes women wear a dirndl for special occasions.” I was floored. Then I went to a dictionary to look up dirndl. Sure enough, Lydia was right. Where did she learn this? Several weeks later I was walking past the living room and there was Barney’s Colorful World, and Barney was explaining just that same thing in those same words.)

Personally, I love Curious George. He has a great personality, he doesn’t speak English, and the show focuses on his imagination and how he learns through trial and error. I also love Mr. Rogers, and so do my kids. He isn’t flashy and modern, but he is engaging and interesting, his program provides the kind of television environment a young child should expect. George and Fred have both visited the library, although George didn’t go there to look at a book.

Barney is a little sappy, but also good. I don’t mind Clifford or Calliou either, although we don’t watch them as much. I wish these things were on Saturday mornings. What passes for children’s programming Saturday mornings is awful, and what isn’t is very scattered. I don’t mind Babar or Veggie Tales, but finding them and having the TV off in between isn’t easy. We either leave the set off or watch a movie. There is nothing wrong with having the TV off, but sometimes I just want the kids somewhere that doesn’t involve being under my feet.

I now take an active role in my children’s television viewing. When my oldest child was a few months old, I wanted to mop the floor, so I put her in a swing, in the living room and turned on Saturday morning TV then left for the kitchen. When I got done mopping and went to get her, she was watching some kind of skanky women’s wrestling. I felt horrible for exposing her to such programming, but I atoned by setting aside a special “counseling account” for her.