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Gasp! Reading Banned Books

November 2007

I belonged to a book club last year which kind of disbanded over the summer. In order to resume this fall, as soon as possible, I emailed the list of the 100 most banned books between 1990 and 2000 and suggested that we each select a book that we had not read, to read it and come prepared to discuss why it might have been banned and whether we thought a ban was legitimate. This list had books such as Lord of the Flies, Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird. Judy Bloom’s name came up about six times and Shel Silverstein’s did once. It also had some books which were obviously objectionable. It seemed to me like a list that would make for an interesting book discussion. I figured that many of us had read at least some of these books and would be able to carry on a conversation with those who had recently read them. I sent the list and invite to mother’s group to which I belong, since most of the book club members belonged as well.

One of the mothers who did not participate last year sent me a long, and very politely worded response that we as Christians should not be reading banned books. We should be reading Christian lit. Following is my reply.

Wow, you brought up an interesting slant to the banned book thing. I emailed your letter to my mother who was a grade school and high school librarian. She made a point of reading all the fiction books in our high school, maybe a thousand, she had read 46 of those on the list. Now, she is probably more liberal than you are, but she shed some light on the list, especially the books I had not read. I wanted to get the book club going, and soon, so I found a list of books for people to choose from. I would be pretty surprised to see someone come prepared to debate about any of the books you mentioned.

My only personal comments are these books were not necessarily banned by Christians, Madeline L’Engle wrote fantasy, but it was highly regarded as Christian literature, much like the Lion Witch and Wardrobe series, which closely follows several books of the Bible. Maybe the ACLU had a hand in that one. The Bible is banned in many countries; it is not always the good guys banning books. You are just the first person I had heard of objecting to examining these books more thoroughly, and you encouraged me investigate (the easy way by asking my mom). You can’t look at the list and say you have never read any of these books can you?

This is what my mother wrote to me. It is long, she is a librarian after all, and full of opinions. Please don’t let the length of this scare you.

In the first place, this list of banned books is of books that have been banned by some school libraries, sometimes elementary schools, or junior high schools or high schools. There is no reason a thinking adult should not read them. Not that you’d necessarily want to. I’m not interested in reading Madonna’s Sex book for any reason. Sometimes the books are banned from school libraries because the community doesn’t think they are appropriate–Daddy’s Roommate, for example. The Goosebumps books were wildly popular with the mid-elementary group for a while, and were stupidly inane, but that isn’t why they were banned. Some adults felt they were too scary. Most kids thought they were wonderful. R. L. Stine made a fortune because kids love to be scared. Several of the other books on this list fall into this category. The Schwartz books, for example.

Other books were banned because of the perceived sexual inappropriateness, I think. In the Night Kitchen, What’s Happening to My Body (Night Kitchen–a child dreaming is shown falling through the air and his private parts show–it’s still a great book and in my experience, most kids know they have private parts), Forever, and maybe I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. (If you haven’t read that one, you should–it’s WONDERFUL)

I think if you check the ALA website, you’ll find a list of these books and a description of why certain schools banned them. A lot of them are available at my High School, and some, like Catcher in the Rye, are on suggested reading lists. That wouldn’t be appropriate for most 7th graders, but high school students should be able to handle reading a book about a teenage boy’s thoughts without going into trauma. Not reading about such things doesn’t keep teenagers from thinking about them.

Another thing I just remembered, a lot of those books were written in the 1970s, and there was a whole different thought of what was appropriate for high school literature. It was a period of high drug use (mostly marijuana) and lots of teen lit approached that topic.

As for How to Eat Fried Worms (recently made into a movie), the Crutcher books (teenage male angst), Summer of my German Soldier (teenage crush on an older man), I wonder why they are on the list and how people made it through the teenage years without some of those same thoughts and problems. Books often help people with solving those problems, or realizing they are not the only persons with those same thoughts.

Another great book is Fallen Angels by Myers. It’s the very best Viet Nam book I’ve ever read, and I always recommended it to boys who HAD to read a book, and they always thought it was great, until one month somebody stole it.

So, basically, the first reason people want to ban books is because they contain sexual ideas. Frankly, I wouldn’t want Howard Stern’s book, Private Parts in my home, either. Or in a school library. It’s just not appropriate. Another reason is because of violence–Fallen Angels, Slaughterhouse Five, Kaffir Boy, for example. But for young men, seniors in high school going to be in Iraq in a few months–those books are very appropriate. And I guess some people question the witchcraft topic–thinking reading a book that uses that device to tell a story could lead a child to think that is a desirable lifestyle, well, I wonder if they are thinking with a child’s mind or an adult’s. Children just don’t think that way.

By the way, anybody who’s spent any time in a high school corridor or gym has heard all the profanity used in those books, knows of the sexual activity that goes on, and drug and alcohol abuse. Reading a book that mentions those things does not cause them, rather the authors try to explain how to appropriately deal with those issues. I’m talking good authors. Madonna, Howard Stern, etc are not included. I’d ban them too.

As I said, usually, sexuality, violence, profanity. In no case, does it include poor writing, insipid ideas or stories, or inaccuracies. Hmmm. Am I missing something? Well, I could go on. I don’t know if this is what you want, but it’s my answer.

Love, Mom

I cut out the part where Mom said that most Christian lit is inane, but only to keep the peace.

She emailed me back and politely said she didn’t agree with certain things that my mother had said, and went into some explanation of why she felt kids should be protected. I understand where she is coming from and respect her decision, while disagreeing to an enormous extent. This is part of the reply I sent, “in my defense, it is difficult to have a book group and read non-controversial books, because there would be little to discuss except whether you liked the book or not. Obviously an ecumenical organization should not be discussing controversial Christian books, because that could easily alienate people of different beliefs.”

This is, by the way, an adult reading group. The ensuing opinions aired through the group has brought about six new members. Following is the list, I have read at least 29 of them.

Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz

Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling

Forever by Judy Blume

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman

My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

The Giver by Lois Lowry

It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris

Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine

A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

Sex by Madonna

Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel

The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle

Go Ask Alice by Anonymous

Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers

In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak

The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard

The Witches by Roald Dahl

The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein

Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry

The Goats by Brock Cole

Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane

Blubber by Judy Blume

Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan

Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam

We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier

Final Exit by Derek Humphry

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Beloved by Toni Morrison

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton

The Pigman by Paul Zindel

Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard

Deenie by Judy Blume

Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden

The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar

Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz

A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)

Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole

Cujo by Stephen King

James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl

The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell

Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy

Ordinary People by Judith Guest

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume

Crazy Lady by Jane Conly

Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher

Fade by Robert Cormier

Guess What? by Mem Fox

The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende

The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Native Son by Richard Wright

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday

Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen

Jack by A.M. Homes

Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya

Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle

Carrie by Stephen King

Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume

On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer

Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge

Family Secrets by Norma Klein

Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole

The Dead Zone by Stephen King

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison

Always Running by Luis Rodriguez

Private Parts by Howard Stern

Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford

Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene

Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman

Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

Running Loose by Chris Crutcher

Sex Education by Jenny Davis

The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene

Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy

How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell

View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts

The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder

The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney

Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

I found some great information, and opinions, on Amazon about certain banned books.

Frank, AnneAnne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl. Modern Library. Challenged in Wise County, Va. (1982) due to “sexually offensive” passages. Four members of the Alabama State Textbook Committee (1983) called for the rejection of this book because it is a “real downer.”

Handford, Martin. Where’s Waldo? Little. Challenged at the Public Libraries of Saginaw, Mich. (1989), Removed from the Springs Public School library in East Hampton, N.Y. (1993) because there is a tiny drawing of a woman lying on the beach wearing a bikini bottom but no top. Yes, but did they find Waldo?

Lee, HarperTo Kill a Mockingbird. Lippincott/Harper; Popular Library. This novel has been challenged quite a lot due to its racial themes. Challenged–and temporarily banned–in Eden Valley, Minn.(1977); Challenged at the Warren, Ind. Township schools (1981), because the book “represents institutionalized racism under the guise of ‘good literature’.” After unsuccessfully banning the novel, three black parents resigned from the township human relations advisory council. Banned from the Lindale, Tex. advanced placement English reading list (1996) because the book “conflicted with the values of the community.”

L’Engle, Madeleine C. A Wrinkle In Time. Dell. Challenged at the Polk City, Fla. Elementary School (1985) by a parent who believed that the story promotes witchcraft, crystal balls, and demons. Challenged in the Anniston Ala. schools (1990). The complainant objected to the book’s listing the name of Jesus Christ together with the names of great artists, philosophers, scientists, and religious leaders when referring to those who defend earth against evil. Got it. Let’s cross Jesus off that list, shall we?

Lewis, C.S. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Macmillan. Challenged in the Howard County, Md. school system (1990) because it depicts “graphic violence, mysticism, and gore.” I’m sure the school system would rather have its children reading something which adheres to “good Christian values.” I cannot recommend the works of C.S. Lewis highly enough. The Narnia books, in particular, are great for readers of all ages

Silverstein, ShelWhere the Sidewalk Ends. Harper. Challenged at the West Allis-West Milwaukee, Wis. school libraries (1986) because the book “suggests drug use, the occult, suicide, death, violence, disrespect for truth, disrespect for legitimate authority, rebellion against parents.” Challenged at the Central Columbia School District in Bloomsburg, Pa. (1993) because a poem titled “Dreadful” talks about how “someone ate the baby.” On the other hand, this book does present the negative consequences of not taking the garbage out.

Snyder, Zilpha KeatleyThe Egypt Game. Dell; Macmillan. This award-winning novel was challenged in the Richardson, Tex. schools (1995) because it shows children in dangerous situations, condones trespassing and lying to parents and ostensibly teaches about the occult. The school board declined to ban this book, but did decide that parents should be notified when it is used in class

Vonnegut, Kurt, JrSlaughterhouse-Five. Dell; Dial. Burned in Drake, N. Dak. (1973). Banned in Rochester Mich. because the novel “contains and makes references to religious matters” and thus fell within the ban of the establishment clause. Challenged at the Owensboro, Ky. high School library (1985) because of “foul language, a reference to ‘Magic Fingers’ attached to the protagonist’s bed to help him sleep, and the sentence: ‘The gun made a ripping sound like the opening of the fly of God Almighty.’ ” Challenged, but retained on the Round Rock, Tex. Independent High School reading list (1996) after a challenge that the book was too violent. This particular novel is the recipient of a very cool plug in the movie, Footloose, starring Kevin Bacon

Wilder, Laura IngallsLittle House in the Big Woods. Buccaneer; Harper; Transaction. Removed from the classrooms, but later reinstated, for third-graders at the Lincoln Unified School District in Stockton, Calif. (1996). Complainants also want the book removed from the library because it “promotes racial epithets and is fueling the fire of racism.”

Wilder, Laura IngallsLittle House on the Prairie. Buccaneer; Harper; Transaction. Challenged at the Lafourche Parish elementary school libraries in Thibodaux, La. (1993) because the book is “offensive to Indians.” Banned in the Sturgis, S. Dak. elementary school classrooms (1993) due to statements considered derogatory to Native Americans. It always amazes me how people would rather ignore or revile literature from a past era, rather than use it to teach acceptance and tolerance. Obviously the characters depicted in the novel do not have “politically correct” 21st century viewpoints. Why not use the opportunity to discuss how things have (hopefully) changed?

“Each book has its own gifts to offer, but the freedom to choose which to read teaches some of life’s most important lessons — trusting yourself, knowing what you believe in, tolerance — all of which are more difficult to learn once you get beyond childhood.”

In conclusion, I recently read Red Sky at Morning by Richard Bradford, a book I first read at about age 12, and several times since. Each time I read it I fall off the bed laughing. I did some serious thinking about it, and it should be banned for the following reasons, and the reasons are so numerous it probably should be banned nationwide. (please detect the sarcasm here) It has confusing racial references, vulgar language, references to body fluids, violence, disrespect for authority, death of animals and people, alcohol abuse and underage drinking, sex discussions, nudity, and a dirty reference to a bishop and a bunch of nuns. It also has some Spanish in it and is anti-family. It really is a perfect book!

Halloween

October 2007

Here we have Sarah as the ballerina in too tight shoes, Tommy as Bob the Builder and Lydia as Laura Ingalls.  Thanks to hand me down dress up clothes, last year’s dance recital and a mother who won’t throw away good clothes, the cost to me was Zip, zero, nada….Priceless.  My grandmother made me the Laura dress in 1976.  It is a teeny bit long on Lydia.  Tommy’s hat looks like a fireman’s hat, but it says “construction” on it.  Since we live in the country, we just trick or treated our neighbors, and we were probably the only ones most neighbors had.  We still made a haul that will last through Easter.

As kids we usually t-o-ted in town,  near my grandmother’s house.  Occasionally we would stay overnight with a friend from school, and they would t-o-t in our rural neighborhood.  Mae Sakurada was the one who made popcorn balls for each kid she expected (and a few extras) then made up little packets with lots of other goodies as well.   I still remember her fondly.  This year we accidentally found that neighbor here!  I think she only has her granddaughter usually, but we gave her a heads up and each kid came home with a rice crispy cookie with a face on it, and a little packet of goodies.  We will be back next year! 

Riding in Cars With Me

October 2007

In the mid 1980s my brother and I started driving in a 1966 Ford pickup. It was hot -because it didn’t have a/c, although it did have a nifty floor vent thing. Dad had someone paint it, but told him when he had used up the first bucket of paint to stop. It was a medium blue on the outside with a turquoise interior. It had an AM radio good for picking up Denver stations and not much else. The speedometer did not work, so you had to kinda estimate on the fly. I don’t think anyone ever got a ticket, but that V8 would go plenty fast. After driving fast, when we parked, it would backfire, to let everyone else know we had arrived.

When we were younger, as in 10 or so, my brother and I helped the hired man completely overhaul the engine. At the time I could have told you nearly anything about how the engine worked. Since I didn’t keep up in that field though, now I can identify only what is necessary. That was when the average person could overhaul an engine. The worst thing about the pickup was the brakes, you had to pump them furiously to get any action. This probably contributed to its final demise. I wrecked it, flipped it actually, on a gravel road while trying to stop. I wouldn’t recommend that for anyone else. I think the steel in the body probably saved us. We didn’t even have a scratch.

We then graduated to my great grandmother’s 1967 Buick Electra. Now that was a car. Too bad we didn’t have a drive-in theater anywhere near, as you could fit a dozen people in the trunk comfortably. It had 6 cigarette lighters, I believe, one for each passenger. My poor kids will never learn the pleasure of scarring each other by playing with a hot cigarette lighter while on family vacations. One time I parked it in town overnight and the next morning I found a length of garden hose sticking out of the license plate (where the gas tank was). Some poor sod didn’t realize that even though the tank would hold probably 35 gallons of gas, (what was needed to drive 250 miles) I could only afford to keep 5 gallons in it. My brother ended up wrecking it though and replacement parts were not in the budget.

That was the only automatic transmission I remember driving until I was 28. In fact when I took driver’s ed, I told Mr. D. that I had never driven an automatic. This turned out to be a good strategy as I immediately grabbed his left knee which he had sprawled exactly where the stick shift was supposed to be, and slammed on the brake with my left foot. The brake on an automatic transmission is larger than on a standard, and it sticks over where the clutch should be. I repeated this several times and still managed to pass the class. The teacher got better about his manspreading after a while. Mr. D. did teach me to parallel park like a professional, and that lesson has served me quite well.

When I got married in 1997 my dowry included a plain 1994 pickup. My husband had a fancy 1997 pickup. We still have the 94, although it has several cow shaped dents as it is now the fencing pickup. We traded the 97 for a car, coincidentally just before the engine blew. I doubt it could have withstood the kind of use the old red pickup gets.

For a while we had a really sexy pickup last year, with chrome everywhere, it was the old, pretty style of Ford, like 92. It had a chrome bumper, mud flaps, running boards, bed rails, everything but naked ladies on the mud flaps. It also had a 6 CD changer and really fancy radio. Some of this should have clued us in as to the previous owner, and his probable driving habits. That pickup caused us no end of headaches, as well as a multitude minor repair bills. It had brake problems as well as some acceleration issues. At the end, my husband went to put it into reverse and the shifter pretty much fell off in his hand. He added a size 8 dent to the front fender then traded it in on a newer, plainer model, still under warranty. I wish we had at least swiped the tailgate off of it, I bet it would fit on old red.

My Reading Habit

October 2007

I went to the Dr. today and found out that the baby is a boy.  After four pregnancies, I finally found out.  It was pretty darn obvious, although I did confirm my suspicions with the ultrasound lady, “Is that what I think it is?”  It was.  So, a boy for Leo to beat up.  Good.  We will probably call him Zachary or Zach.  My husband made the mistake of telling his mother this info and she suggested Wayne.  She has not liked any name that we have chosen.  She got to name 11 children, and that is enough for anyone.  She has a questionable neighbor named Wayne, I would never hear the end of it from hubby’s 10 siblings.  Baby happens to be breech as well.  Great, I get it out of me earlier than scheduled!  We are looking at the first week of  November.  Can’t wait to see how much fun a C-Section is.  Maybe the kid will flip around like he is supposed to and it won’t matter.

My Reading Habit

I come from a long line of readers. My mom was a high school librarian. She decided at one point in her career that she would read each and every hard cover fiction book in her library. I don’t know how long it took her, but she read several hundred, maybe thousand, books to accomplish this. She admits to skipping some of Isaac Asimov’s, since she had so many in the library, but she got through the rest of them.

I started keeping a book diary last November. I found that I read about 10 books a month. In the nearly 12 months since I started keeping track, that makes 116 books. October is not yet done, but I am reading a Uris book which promises to take me into November. That seems like a lot, but I have to admit that many of them are teen books, not particularly long, but not necessarily children’s books either. I have managed to read Roots, Angle of Repose and the last three Harry Potter books, including VI and VII each twice since I have been keeping track, and I don’t believe any month has been fewer than nine books. I read too much. It is a great escape though, and pretty cheap too, considering the library is so close, and free if I keep myself organized. It gets kinda lonesome being a stay at home mom in the country, and having a husband who works at a job all day long and his cow business from the time he gets home from his day job until dark or later.

We added an office onto our house a few years ago. The contractor made me a built-in desk with a bookcase over it. As he installed it, he commented, “nobody has that many books!” Was he ever wrong, and I don’t even have very many books, comparatively speaking. I cleaned up my office the other day and found a stash of dusty magazines I had not read. They were only from the last couple of years and so I am tackling them now. I get Smithsonian, and a person just has to read those, they are too interesting to pass up. The other ones I had stashed away were mostly NebraskaLife, some of those are better than others, but I like to page through them at least, to see if I know anyone, and sure enough I usually do. I try to take magazines on trips, so I can read them to my husband as he drives.

I went to a garage sale today that was only books. There were upwards of 60 boxes of books, the kind the moving companies call “book boxes”. The man was a minister so many were on counseling, religion and just plain old Bibles. The rest of them ranged from classics, like Plutarch’s Lives or what ever that was, to Judith Krantz. Some of it made me raise an eyebrow, but I guess a minister has a right to relaxation just like the rest of us. Apparently they were only getting rid of part of the collection. Wow, my mother doesn’t even have that many books. My dad might. I managed to walk out with 10 books, including Raggedy Ann. I will have to find a spot to put them as all of my book cases are full.

I checked out the list of top 100 books challenged from 1990-2000. http://www.ala.org/Template.cfm?Section=bbwlinks&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=85714 (I don’t know how to make it look fancy and short, but that is where this takes you.) I had read 29, and maybe three or four more, I don’t remember for sure. Mom had read 46. It makes me feel like an underachiever. She said she was off to the library with the list. I wonder if she will learn anything about how her body is changing…

The Incident of the Underwire

October 2007

After my third and final child, I figured my body was done changing shape and I had come to an angle of repose, as Stegner would say. Grandma asked what I needed for Christmas, and I was honest and said a bra. She gave me a gift certificate to JC Penney.

In January I took all three kids to JC Penney to go bra shopping. Tommy was in a stroller, as he was 7 months old, and the ladies were along for the ride, at 4 and nearly 3 years of age. JC Penney is apparently saving money on labor, as nobody works in the store except the check out clerk, from whom I borrowed a tape measure. I found a couple bras that I thought might come close, so we went to the fitting rooms. The handicap access one was locked. It was the only one with a door, so I chose the curtained room farthest from the changing area entrance. Then I was faced with a choice. I could close the curtain and leave Tommy outside in the hallway, or I could put the stroller in the changing room and change in the hallway, with a view of the entire store, or rather the entire store would have a view of me. My third alternative was leaving the curtain open and the stroller in the hallway. I tried this, but the ladies were being “active” and I had a hard time keeping an eye on them without chasing them down the hall while hooking a bra behind my back. I am somewhat modest, and although the store was pretty empty, it seemed a little risqué.

I finally gave up in disgust and bought my husband some long johns with the gift card. I told the cashier, when she asked if I had found everything I needed, that I had not found anyone to help me in the bra department. She said she was sorry but she had to stay at the cashier’s counter.

We proceeded down the mall to Victoria’s Secret. The lady put all four of us (and the stroller) in a changing room that was larger than a standard bedroom, with a locking door and everything. She measured me and found me some bras to try. She even gracefully side-stepped my question about the weird under-arm fat bulges which showed up in one particular style I had tried. I bought two bras, which cost more than the gift certificate had been by quite a bit, but the service and privacy were worth it.

I had quit nursing Tommy four or five weeks before bra shopping, thinking that things would be back to normal. About two weeks after the incident, I noticed it looked like I had a couple of golf balls rolling around in my new bras. Have I shrunk more? I don’t have a lot to lose in the first place!

I don’t know of course, since I am pregnant again. For some reason Sears was the only place to buy nursing bras in our town, and they quit carrying their maternity line. Actually nearly every store quit selling maternity clothes between Jane and Leo. You would think the third largest town in Nebraska would have enough customers to keep a maternity shop in business, or at least a place to buy something between WalMart (where I don’t shop) and Yonkers (which I can’t afford). Last week I bought two nursing bras through the JC Penney catalog (it was private, and of course they don’t carry any at the store). The catalog said buy your pre-pregnancy size. Can’t wait to see how that works out. It just doesn’t seem right. My old nursing bras are shot, and they never fit well in the first place. I would have asked about nursing bras at Victoria’s Secret, but I had asked during my first pregnancy and found out that breastfeeding was not her secret.

I am not actually reading the book, but it looks good.  Will have to check out the library.

September Thoughts

October 2007

This must be a good year for toads. We have them all over the place, and the darn things eat mosquitoes, so I hate to step on them, but it is hard to avoid. They are quarter sized on up to prince-kissing size (maybe that was a frog). We probably have nearly one per square foot of lawn, well maybe less than that, but they are everywhere. Maybe we are low on garter snakes…Dad always said the coyote and rabbit populations were dependant on each other. I haven’t seen many snakes this year, but not because I was looking for them either.

I am ashamed to admit it, but we have had 17 extra inches of rain this year, timed pretty well. Our annual rainfall is around 22 or so. I feel bad for the people at the other end of the state with 5 inches so far this year, about half of what their average is. We did not water our lawn this year, until last weekend, and then just a few dry spots under the trees. The rest of it looks pretty healthy, but we aren’t expecting a Golden Spade Award any time soon.

It is a good thing we live in the country, otherwise our neighbors would be calling the city on us for not maintaining our property and causing adjacent property values to decline. We let our lawn get way too tall sometimes, then I have my homemade automatic mulcher, which involves a tarp strap holding the grass shooter up so the grass scatters. When the lawn gets too tall this leaves attractive windrows of dead grass in the lawn. I let it cure for a day or so then mow again, scattering the dry grass further. I have learned that if I don’t fertilize my lawn, I don’t have to mow it as often, same goes with watering. Our garden can become an eye-sore being right along the road and full of 6 foot weeds.

Somewhere in Nebraska there is a line, on the west side of the line, rural people just have a yard that looks ok, not especially nice. East of that line (where we live) rural people haven’t got the memo that they live in the country and they keep their lawns up like town folk do, but probably using stronger chemicals, available only to farmers. Our neighbors water their lawn pretty much every day, and mow it probably twice a week. Sounds like a waste of water and fuel to me, but their lawn looks great.

I lived on a farm in Wyoming where my boss actually ran the swather across my lawn a couple times a year, followed by the bailer. It doesn’t take long to mow when you have a 30 foot wide mower. The bales were pretty small though. We have too many trees for that to work here, otherwise I would be tempted…

Right now I am outside, and one-year-old Tommy has the hose. He is learning all about fluid dynamics, and how to spray himself in the mouth. He is having a blast. He is a mower man as well, climbing up on the lawn tractor every chance he gets. I turned my back the other day then when I looked back, all I could see was the soles of two feet disappearing on the far side of the mower. He has some sort of rolling head-first dismount figgered out, because he was not upset in any way and he landed on the concrete. We better keep it parked on the grass I guess.

I looked out on the deck the other day, and there was Ariel the Mermaid sunbathing in the nude. It seems her natural pigmentation would preclude such behavior. When Sarah went out to get her, she wasn’t even burned. Now I am jealous. Most of my ancestors came from England, so I didn’t develop the tanning gene. I don’t do much of anything, unless I burn, so I stay out of the sun. I guess it is probably safer that way. My husband never burns, he just gets darker and darker. Someday we will probably be visiting a dermatologist as a result of this, but he isn’t worried.

Tommy moves so fast these days, the other day he disappeared. He decided to walk around the corner of the house, and down the driveway to greet Daddy returning home from work in his huge pickup. We need to put a little fence thing in that part of the yard. He doesn’t come to his name yet, so if he wanders, you have to go searching. We have asked the county to put a Slow Children sign in front of our house, but they are not in a hurry to do that. Even if people don’t slow down, maybe they will keep an eye out, if only because they think my kids are slow.

Rail Travel at the Turn of the Century

October 2007

This has been a busy week at our house.  Sarah had to have the root of a tooth removed Monday.  Somebody, ahem, put her on the bed when she was 10 months old and of course she fell off and knocked a tooth out.  She only had it for 3 weeks.  Anyway, the Dentist said 2 1/2 years later that the root had to go.  Then the doggone tooth fairy didn’t remember to visit the first night the root was put out.  Whoops. 

Wednesday the husband had nose surgery, hopefully to cure his snoring problem as well as let him shut his mouth without actually dying of asphyxiation.  We shall see.  He has been hanging around the house a lot, it is kinda weird having him around so much, but then he can’t help because he feels so lousy. 

Then of course, I made it to the chiropractor twice.  My lower back hurts and it is all I can do to waddle around chasing Tommy.  Fortunately he prefers to climb, so I don’t have to bend over much.  I have to leave the kiddos in the waiting room while I go back.  So far they have not caused any problems.  Today a lady was waiting on her husband and she read a book to my kids.  Nothing like a small town I say.  I have been having all kinds of shooting pains up and down the back of my thighs.  I am counting the days until this kid gets out of me.  Thirty eight give or take a couple.

Rail travel at the turn of the century

I have taken two train trips in the last year, both starting from central Nebraska and ending in Denver. Amtrak has a ways to go before they make any headway in transportation in the US, and that is too bad.

Good things

1. You don’t have to drive or stay awake

2. The clientele is less spooky than bus travelers, in my limited experience

3. It probably isn’t more expensive for one person than driving with gas at $3.00/gal

4. Lots of leg room

5. Lounge and Dining car to relax in and meet people

6. There is kind of a romance about rail travel

7. You get to see the Denver Stock Yards (and other stuff you might not happen across)

8. The employees are exceptionally nice

9. Old train stations are cool

10. Less pollution than all those people driving, and probably flying as well

11. No waiting in line for security checks

12. You keep your luggage on the same car as you, so it won’t end up lost

Bad things

1. They are so doggone late

2. Only one train goes through a day, so the time may be horrid ie. 2:05 am departure

3. The bathrooms (although they are no worse that those on planes)

4. It is not easy to sleep next to someone you don’t know

I wish people would take advantage of this kind of travel so

1. More trains would run

2. The rail companies which own the tracks would prioritize getting Amtrak though

3. Amtrak could update some of its equipment (I think some of their engines are old)

4. More routes could be added

Toys

September 2007

I loved playing with wooden blocks when I was a kid. We keep ours out in the living room so the kids can play with them often (and I can play with them when I put them away, often). We have a set of maybe 100 with a few odds and ends from my childhood and probably my father’s as well added to it. I think of all the blocks I remember having as a kid, now we are down to about 15. Surely we didn’t start out with 100! I described them to my husband, the tall rectangle green ones were dads and the round yellow ones were mothers. The short ones were children. He said, “you mean the ones with the hay bales,” and sure enough, the “boys” were green and hay bale shaped. That is why blocks are a great toy for the imagination, a different toy for each kid.

Speaking of toys that involve hundreds of parts, Sarah asked Santa for a Percy train last year, Percy is a companion of the famous Thomas the Tank Engine. Of course, a train must have a track, so we now have a wooden track too. This I keep in the living room so I can play with it on lonely evenings. I have to wait until the kids are in bed, because Tommy will come up and swipe his hands across your project and laugh his evil baby laugh as he knocks everything down. It takes a different mind set to build things which are sure to be knocked down before completion. An architect under these circumstances doesn’t spend time on elaborate details, but builds a utilitarian structure.

The best gift I remember getting as a child was a shoebox full of Barbie clothes made by my Aunt Gloria. I played with them, my step daughter Kari played with them, and now the Ladies play with them. I can’t be sure, but I think we still have nearly all of them. I keep the Barbies put up most of the time because I think my daughters are too young to play with dolls that look like that. Technically I think they will never be old enough to play with dolls that look like that. I prefer that they play with baby dolls. We do have some Barbies that stay out most of the time, like Ariel, Sarah’s hero. But every chance I get, I put the Barbies away until someone makes a request a few weeks later and I get a few out again for a couple of days.

We went to a wedding last summer, where my niece, Denise married Abdul. This was the first wedding my children remembered attending, and it made a huge impression on the Ladies. They found an older dark haired Barbie to be Denise (although Denise is actually blonde) and dressed her up in the wedding dress my aunt made. Poor Abdul (Ken) only had a velvet cape and a black cowboy hat to wear. It was a pretty drafty ensemble. I found a lady in on Ebay who makes beautiful Barbie and Ken formal clothes, so we invested in a tux. Unfortunately, Denise got an illness common in older Barbies, her neck broke, causing her head to fall off, so I had to find another brown haired Barbie. The New Denise is a Malibu Barbie complete with tattoo and bare feet.

Those Bratz dolls look skanky. I really don’t want any of those in my house. At least Barbie looks glamorous in a runway model sort of way, not just plain old slutty. I suppose if we get one as a gift, I will do my best to distract the Ladies until I could put it in our garage sale stash. Santa brought Lydia a soft doll with the name brand Groovy Girls, that looked kinda like a teenager, but a nice one, the kind you could be friends with. She even came with a change of clothes. We need to look into more of those.

Football

September 2007

I am not much of a football fan, I didn’t grow up watching football at all. Dad, as far as I know has only watched one brand of pro sports…rodeo, and he doesn’t follow it. Mom likes football (she grew up in Texas after all), but never made much of an effort to teach me about it. I have learned to like watching football when I know the players. Seriously, I attended about one half of a game when I was in high school, in my defense, I lived 30 miles from school, and didn’t make an extra trip often. When I went to college at University of Wyoming I stayed in my room during the first home game (and most of them aren’t warm weather games). My friends drug me to the next game and they explained what was going on. After noticing a guy I had met in the common area of my dorm suited up and playing, I was hooked. We always sat on the 30, about 5 or 6 rows up.

After graduation I moved to a tiny town in Nebraska, and I went to nearly every home game as well as the nearby away games. The town was so small, several of the band members marched at half time wearing their football uniforms. They had an awesome team, often scoring 45 more points than their opponents, ending the game early. My husband made the mistake of proposing to me during half time of one of their games, on a romantic river bridge just outside of town, and after he was done I was itching to get back so I could finish watching the Broncos beat the Trojans.

Right now I am watching my nephew quarterback Idaho playing USC. He is a smart articulate young man. It is fun to see him get so much TV time. I wish I could see him make a touchdown. He has made some great plays, and the announcers even pointed out that even though Idaho was not matched athletically against USC, they were “sort of” out playing them. That was before half time though. It has been really confusing since the Idaho players have duplicate numbers, there are two 10s and several other numbers as well.

I am not a Nebraska football fan. I certainly don’t cheer against them, unless they play Wyoming of course, but most of the time I could care less. I have been to several games, and everyone is excited, and it is fun, but you have to sit so far from the game, it takes all the fun out of the live experience, no 30 yard line 5 rows up here. And I don’t know anyone on the team. I do respect my husband’s need to scream advice and insults at the refs during games. I try to keep the kids out of the way and keep enough background noise that their ears don’t turn blue.

Now when I watch football, it is usually only the Superbowl, and I always cheer for the underdog. I guess I am in my element here watching Idaho and USC. Well, Nathan is out, I sure hope they score though. I would like to see them with at least 10 points. Idaho has done well on sacks and interceptions too. Whoo hoo, they scored! They only showed the Idaho fans once, and I didn’t see my step-dad or step-brother. That sure wasn’t equal treatment.

I wish I had a team around here to follow live. I don’t know any high school boys, I guess all my friends have little kids. My husband keeps telling me that Tommy will be a football player, but he is only one.

(2023 note: Thomas did play football, but sports were not where he shined after all, and our local high school football team is one of the worst in the state, so I don’t watch them much either.)

The Deadbeat Gardner

September 2007

I tackled the garden last Friday. I would call my husband a deadbeat gardener, that is the nicest thing I called him as I pulled out 6’ tall weeds and piled them in a pile roughly the size and shape of a Volkswagon Beetle. Each spring we have the same conversation, I say, “let’s just do a little garden this summer, some tomatoes, maybe a zucchini.” To this my husband replies, “Huh” very loudly which means he doesn’t agree. A few years ago I had him put in a hydrant at the end of the garden so he couldn’t stretch it one more rototiller width each year, he has to stop at the hydrant or it would be pretty obvious. His mom raised 11 children on her garden produce and he seems to think I could do likewise. This right here is one reason I am not Amish.

As I am pregnant and still unaccustomed to the humidity and heat of central Nebraska summers after nine years, I told him it was up to him this year. He gamely planted three rows of potatoes (the cheapest and most reliable produce item to buy in a store) because we had some getting a little leggy around the house. He planted tomatoes, beans, watermelon, cantaloupe, beets, zucchini, and cucumbers. At least that is all I unearthed, he might have planted carrots too. Of course the cukes are all yellow chicken bombs by this time, and since he got the garden in late, the beans seem to be just coming on. It is just too doggone hot for me to be crawling around out in the garden picking beans during Tommy’s naptime (after lunch), and the mosquitoes are horrid after bedtime, so we haven’t had any.

He started the summer rototilling between the rows, but that ended when July started.  He had a pressing fencing project to complete, and a grain bin to take down, and a friend who needed help doing something and so on. It is not like he languishes on the couch watching TV or anything, but he hasn’t been gardening either.

My jungle expedition revealed a trazillion ripe grape tomatoes and lots of green tomatoes which are going to be ready soon. And the beans. We also seem to have one intrepid beet. I jostled the vines around enough to cause problems with both the cantaloupe and watermelon, two and one respectively, all small. We ate so many zucchini and cucumbers earlier this year that our skin looked like we were developing some sort of photosynthesis mechanism. Our green skin has faded though, and fall approaches. My pantry has one lonely quart of tomatoes awaiting its fate.

I ran out of canned tomatoes a few years ago, so I went to the store. Did you have any idea there were so many different kinds of canned tomatoes? Diced, whole, stewed, then you hit the value added market, diced with onions, basil, green peppers, and so on. I just go to the pantry and get a quart of tomatoes, two if I am making soup. What do you even use all this other stuff for? I am hoping the weather and the family cooperate so I can put some tomatoes up this year. I love to look at rows of home canned stuff on my shelf, and when I have the time and energy, I don’t even mind putting it up, but I don’t plan to survive on my garden produce.